I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
