It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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