how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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