girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
