Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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