When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
