How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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