So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
