; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
