shes about as inviting as chlamydia
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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