does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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