You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
