i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
