well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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