My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
