oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
