where am i from again
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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