I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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