I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
