haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
