You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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