Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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