It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
