I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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