Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
A+ Viking dick
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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