It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize