were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
