Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
