Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Pooping to opera.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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