For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
