I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
