If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
