there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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