My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
