butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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