Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We need to rekindle our bromance
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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