I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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