yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
