your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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