You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
