It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.