Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
