I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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