yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
