Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

You up for the gym tonight after work?

(734): View more from Michigan

I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.

(248): View more from Michigan

Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.

(734): View more from Michigan

Chris Brown style, or less felonious?

(248): View more from Michigan

Haha, all felonious.

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(248) You up for the gym tonight after work? (734): I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog. (248): Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today. (734): Chris Brown style, or less felonious? (248): Haha, all felonious. http://tfl.nu/kj7p

Replies (5) Good night (1705) Bad night (728)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.

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(678): Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol. http://tfl.nu/nnbo

Replies (7) Good night (1207) Bad night (2303)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.

(1-443): View more from Maryland

Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.

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(443): Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain. (1-443): Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one. http://tfl.nu/00ky

Replies (38) Good night (3983) Bad night (1624)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.

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(610): I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain. http://tfl.nu/693g

Replies (16) Good night (1050) Bad night (4386)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.

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(304): My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within. http://tfl.nu/zogn

Replies (10) Good night (829) Bad night (3419)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...

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(828): Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was... http://tfl.nu/29hb

Replies (31) Good night (4480) Bad night (1705)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.

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(978): If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises. http://tfl.nu/xzxa

Replies (8) Good night (4191) Bad night (1559)
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(703): View more from Virginia

yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.

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(703): yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks. http://tfl.nu/ahni

Replies (32) Good night (4003) Bad night (1811)
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(406): View more from Montana

She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that

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(406): She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that http://tfl.nu/d627

Replies (4) Good night (1949) Bad night (695)
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(734): View more from Michigan

The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.

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(734): The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake. http://tfl.nu/3nh1

Replies (2) Good night (1232) Bad night (823)
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(863): View more from Florida

my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.

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(863): my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car. http://tfl.nu/8sk6

Replies (10) Good night (1727) Bad night (831)
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(716): View more from New York

So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.

(1-716): View more from New York

Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money

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(716): So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed. (1-716): Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money http://tfl.nu/8jhe

Replies (9) Good night (2954) Bad night (618)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?

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(+44): you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home? http://tfl.nu/3r4f

Replies (6) Good night (1416) Bad night (493)
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(253): View more from Washington

I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.

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(253): I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob. http://tfl.nu/73ex

Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (173)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons

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(505): The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons http://tfl.nu/5vuo

Replies (1) Good night (71) Bad night (239)

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