I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think your dad took our porno
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
