i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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