You work out of a Hotel?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
