Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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