You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
