it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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