i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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