i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
