My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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