I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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