Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
