Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize