my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
