get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
