Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize