did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
And then the night went full on bisexual.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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