He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
