i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
