I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
